The Joy of An Ex - Plan Of Care

Copyright (c) 2011 Jackie Ramler

If you are reading this you are likely a parent who has been asked to put forward a Plan of Care regarding your child or children. This may be the first time you have heard of this phrase, along with many other terms and phrases associated with the custody and access decisions that you may be trying to make. The plan of care fits into the larger decision process by outlining your detailed thinking regarding how you intend to provide for your child's needs both in the short and long term. The following are some points that may provide a guide as you put together your plan.

One of the areas for consideration involves the environment that you want to provide for your child. What type of job do you have and what kind of income and benefits come with that job? Considering this area will determine the kind of residence you can provide, perhaps the kind of neighborhood and community you can make available to the child. As well, your income may determine the kind of activities (e.g. sports, lessons, clubs etc.) that the child may be able to participate in. The hours that you work will also determine how available you can be to provide care for the child, or whether you may need child care. If you have a new partner or reside with a member of your extended family, they may be included in your plan of care. Do you have benefits coverage? If not how do you plan to ensure the child's medical and dental expenses will be covered? Does your partner have benefits or does the child's other parent have coverage that includes the child?

Another area to consider is the child's education. You will need to outline your support for the child's education in a way that talks about your beliefs, values and vision for the child's future. Will you be the one that has regular contact with the school and deals with the academic, social and emotional issues that arise? Will you be regularly attending the school to volunteer and support the school as well as your child? If your child has any special needs such as learning disabilities, physical or emotional challenges, what will you do to ensure that the child's needs are addressed? Are you saving for the child's post secondary education? These are just some of the things regarding education you may wish to consider.

Your child may also have other special needs such as physical disability, mental illness etc. Your plan will need to outline your thinking regarding addressing those special needs, in a way that clearly demonstrates a thorough understanding of the child's condition, treatment needs, social and emotional needs and prognosis.

Finally, and above all, your plan needs to reflect a deep and compassionate understanding of your child. This understanding will reflect your efforts to establish and maintain a loving and empathetic relationship with your child and to suspend your own needs and issues, regardless how distressing or compelling your needs are. If you have extensive personal problems like mental health issues, drug or alcohol abuse, or other physical or emotional concerns, how are you attending to them? Your plan to address your own needs will need to reflect not only a commitment to your own health and well being but a clear understanding of how you will insulate your child from any negative effects from your issues and still be able to operate at full or effective levels of parental capacity. Your ability to offer an honest assessment of your issues and your efforts to address them will also help those reading your plan to trust your information and commitment to your child. Your understanding of your child's personality, traits, preferences, fears, joys and life experiences will help you to design your plan in a way that respects the child and ensure that they feel comfortable and safe in your care. Your plan also needs to respect the child's needs for a meaningful relationship with his other parent, extended family, friends and others that play a significant role in the child's life. Your plan will also need to present your thinking regarding how you will ensure they are kept free from any parental or family conflict and if they have been engaged and are suffering distress, how will you ensure they have the proper help that they need?


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